giving birth to my sweet hadley was a dream when she was handed to me- a combination of conquering birth and finally having her in my arms. i wasn't able to have that time with harper. holding this tiny being, her life simply beginning. my heart expanding, tears flowing, officially a family of four.
six days after hadley was born i was struck with the realization that it wasn't just harper anymore- it wasn't just going to be the two of us during the day. had i been asked when i was pregnant if i felt prepared for this part i would've said yes, as much as i could be. i clearly wasn't. for a few days i looked at her and cried. watching her play, sleep, hug her daddy, or cry from an "owie." i'm thankful i'll always remember life with just her. i wonder where the first two years of her life went and i see hadley and wonder what she'll be like in two years. my love for them is different, yet the same and runs wildly deep.
i think of my mom and how she must feel in relation to Kareena and i. how having children is exactly like the quote by elizabeth stone "making the decision to have a chid-- it is momentous. it is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." truth. it's overwhelming, beautiful, difficult, unlike any other love. love that Jesus has given us as parents to feel.
harper kisses hadley's head probably as much as i do during the day. i see their love forming more as the days go on. i get so excited when i think of what they'll be like as they grow up. plenty of fighting, playing house, hair pulling, laughing, doing what sisters do. but for now i enjoy the exploring, poopy diapers, random kisses, silly dances, funny expressions, newborn smells, and lots of snuggles. they will have each other for life and won't know life without the other in it. they are a gift to andy and i and a gift to each other.
thank you, Jesus for my girls.
